I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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