So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
