I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
