trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
They are going to name an STD after you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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