"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
