I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
