Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
