it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
