I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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