yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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