Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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