I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
