I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So apparently I’m into choking now
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
