Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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