Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
