well I can't set my house on fire every night
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
