Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
