If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this just has baby written all over it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
