I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
