There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
