bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
