i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
