hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
