why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
