ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
