that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
