I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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