3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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