Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
