come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
