So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
