remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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