i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So much Jack, so little girl.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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