Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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