I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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