You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
