I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
