the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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