you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
