You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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