no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
