So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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