You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
