Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize