capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
