Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
