In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My vagina is officially offended.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
