dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
