She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
