Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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